


What Do You Want?

by dhwty_writes



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Character Study, Gen, I don't know how else to tag this, mentions of the general clusterfuck that is yen's life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:36:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27632852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dhwty_writes/pseuds/dhwty_writes
Summary: The question has haunted her her entire life. The answer? Anything but simple. A character study on Yennefer.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	What Do You Want?

**Author's Note:**

> Hep guys, I’ve got no idea what I’m doing. This just materialised out of thin air, please be nice.

_What do you want, Yennefer?_

It is a question she has not heard often in the early stages of her life, yet now, somehow, seldom a day goes by without anyone asking for her wishes. They all want to please her. Her, the mage who serves and reigns at once. Her, the girl who clutched at everything life threw at her, for she knew that it was fleeting.

_What do you want, Lady Yennefer?_

In the beginning, it is overwhelming. Frightening. Like catching lighting in a bottle. What does she want? What could she probably want for, she, the woman, the world reveals all its paths for? The girl who had been promised nothing but a future filled with emptiness?

_What may I fetch for you, Lady Yennefer?_

What might they fetch her indeed? In the beginning it is exhilarating. Thrilling. Intoxicating. Like looking into a mirror and recognising your reflection for the first time. What could they possibly bring her, the woman who could conjure up wonders beyond men's understanding? Her, the girl who had not been handed anything in her life?

Every step of the way she had to fight. Fight for her right to live. To breathe. Fight for her power, fight for her beauty, fight for her might. She fights for respect and fights for love, for her king and kin and kind and it never is enough.

When the flames die down, she rises again to greet another day. To answer the same question over and over again. Power she has, and beauty too, but it does not suffice to buy her freedom.

_Choose to your liking, Lady Yennefer._

Choose. It is an odd word. Yennefer has never chosen before. She did not choose to come into life deformed, she did not choose to be abused by her siblings' father, she did not choose to frighten the boy and the girl in the stable. She did not choose to go to Aretuza the first time and she certainly did not choose the second time around. She did not choose her elven blood, did not choose her powers, not choose fate. She did not even choose to keep on living.

And yet, she does.

_What do you want, Yennefer?_

When she hears Tissaia ask, she feels the beginning of anger coiling in her stomach. How dare she? How dare she ask, how dare she presume, _how dare she_? But the tendrils of fury retreat just as fast as they appeared, replaced by the gnawing feeling of hungry want that she knows far too well. She is always craving _something_.

_What do you want?_

She has heard it so often, by now it rings hollow in her ears. Of the thousands of people no-one has ever meant it. No-one truly wants to hear the answer. They all think they know it already.

_What do you want?_

Beauty. Power. Respect. A purse filled to the brim, a gaggle of slaves to tend to her every need, a lover to warm her bed. A child. The minds of men are so terribly narrow when conjuring up fantasies of her deepest desires. None of them are true. None of them prepared for the truth either. 

_I want everything._

It is the only answer there is. The only one there ever has been, the only one there ever will be. As simple and as complex as that. What else could it be she craved? She, the girl who was given nothing, promised nothing, no blessings, no options.

_Everything._

Everything is revenge. It is justice for herself. It is freedom, freedom of her shackles, her mind, her blood. The freedom that has been denied to her on so many accounts. But above all, it is a choice. 

_What do you want, Yennefer?_

_I want everything._

_And then, I want to choose._

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, feel free to leave a comment or come over to chat with me on [tumblr](https://dhwty-writes.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
